So long, and thanks for all the fish.

So have you ever been in a situation where the people who are in the situation with you make you feel completely sickened?

Do I love my church? Well yeah. Maybe I just love the way it used to be, I'm not sure. But there are a lot of people there that I love. Do I love my Sunday school class? That's a totally different question. You could say I love them with the love of Christ. That would probably be a safe thing to say. Because I really don't like them, but I mean... I don't hate them.

Now I'm not saying I'm perfect. Far from it, in fact. I know I do things that are wrong, and I know what makes me weak. But come on now... I've never had such a swearing problem that I can't hold it back when in the certain company that it would be inappropriate to swear in front of. Like your Sunday school class, for instance. And I've never been in a situation where the rest of the people around you (in your Sunday school class) laughed at the person who swore. You know, in the middle of the lesson.

I've never had such a sex-crazed or perverted disposition that I couldn't just hold in my disgusting comments until I was in a more appropriate place. (Notice I said "more appropriate place"... because really no place is totally appropriate for unwholesome words to come from your mouth.)

I guess right now in my life, I'm not looking to hang out with people that just seem to be running into a wall in their lives, in terms of.... I don't know. Their relationship with God, I guess. But even more broad than that... Running into a wall in terms of themselves. People who just want to drink, smoke, swear, and have sex. If that's all your life is, then you have a problem, and you're not who I need to be surrounding myself with right now.

Like I said, I'm not perfect. I know I swear sometimes, I know I do things I shouldn't. I know I doubt God. I mean, I know I do these things, and I know that they are problems. But I also know that I shouldn't be surrounding myself with people who do the same things, worse and more frequently than I do. I was really hoping that I could be in that class, because they seem to have a lot of good discussions. But a lot of them are about how we have "Christian freedoms" and if it feels right to drink and smoke, then we can do it.

Do it if it feels right?! Doesn't that go against EVERYTHING the Bible teaches?

Sigh.

"So sad that it should come to this."